EMO during EXAMS

Shit is all I can say.. Don't know why I feel so damn emo this few days.. Actually no, starting from yesterday night.. Ya, that is right.. Starting from yesterday night.. until now, feeling very emotional.. For reasons that I couldn't even explain or even know.. (Actually I am not sure which is the contributor.. But you get the idea..) And worst of all, I am having my last paper tomorrow.. Why can't this feeling wait another day? I would be so happy to have this kind of feeling tomorrow this time instead of having it now..

Oh well, what to do? I am not a master in controlling my emotions yet.. Stupid emotions could come up at random times and I have not gain the power (or I don't remember how to control) them.. Thus, letting them come and go is the best I can do now.. But, it is quite hard to be focusing on studies when you are FEELING LIKE THIS!!! Hahahaha.. (Okay, one of my stupid yet sometimes useful qualities.. Making a joke out of everything.. zzzzz Hahahaha)

Yaya, I have no where to express this randomness of mine thus Bloggy is the best place to let it all out.. And by doing so, I hoped that I could have released it, and gain back my mind! YEAH!! (Although I doubt so..) Thus, I think this entry is nearing an end.. As I need to get back to my Calculus and start on my Algebra.. And hope that I somehow can manage at least a Credit.. (Hoping for miracles is what I always do.. HAhaha) Good Luck to ME!!

Memories

Hahaha, well, I just look back through the post that I wrote during March and I was like, OMB!! Did I wrote that? I seriously have no idea that I wrote that. Haha..

I think that is the reason why I am writing this blog, so that I can read it on day in the future and think, "OMB, why did I wrote that?" or "I never remember that happening," Haha. Yes, yes, I know I might have mention this somewhere in my blog but no harm reminding myself the fact that I am continuing writing my blog.. Hehe..

Oh well, just a random update that I hope I can laugh at when I am reading this when I am 30 or something..

So, I think that is all for now.. I might be updating when I feel the need to.. So that will mean whenever I feel like it.. Hahaha.. Thanks for reading..

YEEPIE!!!

Hahaha... So, as my title said already, YEEPIE!!! Why am I happy? Wait, that is wrong, I am not happy... I am VERY HAPPY! HAhaha...

So, why am I feeling that way, well, maybe because I will need to go grocery shopping tomorrow morning before anyone even had the feeling of waking up.. HAhaha.. (Or maybe for most of them, because the store person has to open the store for me..)

Why on earth would I want to wake that early to shop? Well, it is to my usual style of last minute... HAhaha... I am participating in COTY.. What?? COTY.. Cook of the Year!! Yeah!! And yes, I cook.. HAhaha... Not bad actually.. Hahaha...

And then came the question.. Why are you so happy about it? Well, do I need a reason to be happy? Duh.. Hahaha.. Well, lets just say I seldom feel down for a continuous period of time.. HAhaha...

So, do you feel my optimistic? HAhaha.. (not sure if I use the correct word here..) It is good if you feel it and feel happy.. That means I am doing a very good job..
However, if you don't feel it, don't worry, just give me a call and I will try my best to somehow make you feel HAPPY.. Hahaha.. But, however, as usual, my schedule is quite full, you might need to make an appointment with me.. The first available date is, wait, let me check, oooopppppssss... You will have to wait until next year, What? Next Year? Yup, next year.. November after my final exam.. Then I might be free.. Hahaha...

So, that is all for now.. I need to go take a bath and then have my sleep as I got limited time left for sleeping...

Hahaha

Well, I am so sorry I did not update anything here for the past few months... (Not sure why I did not update, maybe I was busy, maybe I was lazy...) Anyway, now I am here and ready to put another boring piece up online for me to laugh at in the future..

So, what to write here? Actually I have no idea.. I just have nothing to do at the moment thus came here to waste some time. What can I write? What should I write? Well, oh ya! I am going back soon... So happy for myself.. So looking forward to going back to the normal weather of Malaysia. However, I am not sure if I can get use to the weather of Malaysia anymore. Anyway, ya, going back mood is on!!

However, if I stop for a moment and see this in a different way, that means that EXAM is near as well!!! No... I did not finish my studies yet... Wait, that is not right, I should had said I have not even started study yet... So what to do? Well, what I normally do, LAST MINUTE CRAMMING... Hahaha.. That is what I normally do even though it sometimes didn't bring me the result I wanted, however, I still can't find the will to change this bad habit of mine..

So, okay, this is getting even dry then I expected, so I think I might just cut this short and go on with my life... Starting with cooking dinner..
HAhaha... Thanks everyone for reading this boring post..

Hahaha

Hey Hey Bloggy... So sorry that I ignored you for.. Hmmm, I don't even know how long.. Hahaha.. but then now I am back.. Hehehe.. So, What to write?? Actually there has been a time where I know what to write but don't remember why I did not do that that time. (What happened? I can't remember) Hahaha..

So, what should I write today? Well, I really have no idea. I really have no clue on what to blog about.. Maybe I just feel bad for my Bloggy because I ignored him for that long thus just decided to pop in here and make my Bloggy happy.. Hahahaha..
(Okay, I think I need to apologize for the change in my typing style.. I used to type in near, okay, maybe not near, just not far (??) English but now I use something really informal.. Hahaha.. Who cares? I like to type things this way.. It is way more FUN!!! Don't you think so? Hahahaha...)

Oh, Just in case you guys don't know, I gave a name to my blog... Which is BLOGGY!!! Hahaha... Very Original isn't it?? Hahahaha... ( =.=|||) So, please say Hi to Bloggy for me whenever you are free.. He is quite lonely you know.. Because sometimes I might get to busy with my stuff and forgot to drop by and feed Bloggy, so he sometimes will BITE.. (Be careful) besides that, Bloggy is very funny and cute.. (As Always, Okay, seriously, this has to stop.. Hahahaha..) Thanks a lot guys..

Okay, just a bit update on me. Well, nothing much happened. (Ya, as if..) Things are just as they are supposed to be.. (Right, you are suppose to do revision for Monday's test and what are you doing now?) I suppose everything is fine, and ooooo, ya, I forgot, I learned how to use Adobe Premiere Pro CS3.. Hahahaha... Thanks to Archive group of Bodhi Nite 2010, I got the chance to learn how to use this actually not that complicated program.. Hehehe.. (But please make sure you have a lot of Hard Disk Memory, and also a good Graphic Card, plus a lot of RAM and also a good sense of patience in case your program breaks down.. HAhaha..) So, for the video editing process, which I thought would not take me more than 3days, end up taking my whole week of holiday.. I spend 3 nights in UNIBUDS Library and for the first night, I haven't slept for 40hours.. (39hours to be exact..) Hahaha.. I slept for a total 9hours for the 3 nights.. (0+7+2) Hahaha.. So, ya, it is a new experience for me.. So, might as well blog it down so I can read this some time in the future and think: "OMB!! I did that?" HAhaha..

So, what am I up to now? Actually I have no clue.. After Bodhi Nite, I am now currently in power saving mode.. (Saving for what I have no clue) But I haven't really pull myself up and catch up.. (Which I really should start doing..) And yes, I am still hoping that I can find a part time job so that I can spend more.. Hahaha.. Please wish me LUCK.. Because I really need them.. Thanks in advance.. Hehehe..

Okay, besides all these crap, I think I am left with just one more thing to say before I post this.. One very very very Important thing.. So, you can ignore everything I wrote above but you MUST pay attention to the next few lines that I will be writing. (Or in your case, "that I have wrote")
So, what is it that is so important that I need your total attention?
Well, don't worry too much, you will know why soon.
Actually I think you might not know why.
Because I don't even know why I just said you will know why.
But, I know you will.. (See, I am so good.. I know how you think.. Haha..) [Actually I have no idea what I just wrote here.]
"So, Cut the chase and get on with it!!" (Someone said that to me, wait, or a part of me said that? Oh NO!)
Well, okay okay, here is the important thing, so please pay attention,
I need to go out already.
Hahahaha.. So, goodbye to all.. and thank you for wasting your precious time on my Bloggy.. Thanks..


Den Neil

The Past All Over Again

Well, I think this is the more suitable title for my post today. I was thinking of a few other titles but I think this is the most suitable. Why? I don't know why. Don't ask me that question. I don't know how my brains and preferences work, I just know that I like it this way that is why it is this way. End of story.

So, continue on with the original reason why I wanted to write this post. This time I think in a calmer feeling. I don't feel that affected like the last time this sort of thing happened. Why? This time I think I can explain it, sort of. I think this time I kind of like accepted the fact that people don't change easily. This is the truth. This is fact. History is always going to find a way to repeat itself, this is always true. I think you might nod in agreement to my statement. So, yeah!! This means that I am correct for once. Haha..

So, why do I say that? Or maybe I should say I think this is just how life is. Attitude is not something you can change overnight. You might not being able to change it even if you are given a long period of time. The key to this change is your determination. Determination to change. Yet most people lack this as it is their habits of doing it and thus it is very very hard to change. They must put in extra effort to control it, then have the determination of keeping their effort. Most will give up in the process as it is more easier this way.
This is why sometimes one would say, " I have told you thousands of times already, why don't you get it?" Don't you think you hear this a lot? Yes yes, I know. I am that kind of person as well, in fact most of us are like that. So, now you know why. Attitudes and Habits cannot be changed like you change, it is more complicated than that, and I think most of you know it already.

Okay, now I have lost my way. I always do that. I would come out with a good post title then halfway through I might include irrelevant stuffs then I will run out of topic, or have nothing more to continue.
Inspiration came and I am back on track.

So, here we are, living our lives as we wanted. Then there came in the other people. Families, Friends, Co-leagues, all those people that we interact with in our lives. They might not always agree with our ways, thus conflicts arise. How to deal with this? I don't want to go in there. I will leave it for you to handle it yourself, this is because different people have different ways of dealing with conflicts. I just want to bring out the topic of some people may take conflicts more seriously than other people. There is where the feeling of dislike came in, and worse still is fights, with the worst murder.
Okay, I am out of ideas again.

I think I had been way out of topic since the start. I should have emphasize on that people don't change easily and thus history always repeats itself. The past will be going all over again. We will face the same problem as we did before. Thus I think I should conclude and get on with doing my work or else my history will always be repeated again.

Okay, conclusion is, to avoid the past to happen all over again, we must, and I seriously do mean MUST study the problem we faced in the past in a neutral way. I know it is hard to do so, but we can always try. Then we reevaluate the situation and decisions that was taken by the parties involved. By saying this, I hope that everyone is rational and will thus make the appropriate revaluation and then learn from this mistake. After that, when similar problems occurs, we can apply what we learn in the past here and hope to get a better result. This is the optimum way of doing things, this is called learning. Yet, who can do this effectively? I don't know about the others, but I know I certainly cannot, but I am trying.

So, let us all try to make the correct decision and thus live a better life. All the BEST to all.

(Sorry for the ending, I suddenly ran out of idea and thus the post seems quite a bit poor in the end part. Well, sorry for that, this is all I can come out with. Hope you enjoyed it and learn something from it, if there really are anything for you to learn that is. Haha..)

Love

Well, first, I need to say, I don't remember writing something this long.. It is written on 6th October 2009, well, that is the date that my laptop recorded, so I think that should be correct. I can't believe that I wrote all this.. So, I will just post it as it is and will not look through it already as I might change something. So, here goes... Be ready for it.. It is quite long.

Love
What is love?
How can you tell you’re in love?
Or
How can you tell you’re not in love?

I kept thinking of you,
I kept dreaming of you,
Is this love?
I like your smile,
I like your style,
Is this love?
If this is, then shouldn’t I be happy?
If this isn’t, then what is it?

What is so great that can make me happy and sad at the same time?
What is so great that can make me laugh and cry at the same time?
What else if it is not love?
Yet who can be sure this is love?
Will you confirm this is love?
Can you confirm this is love?
Please help me.
I’m confused,
I don’t know what to do.
I’m happy, I’m sad,
I’m strong, I’m weak,
I’m a jumble of things.
Yet none helped me, to clear my worries,
Is this love?

How is love?
Shouldn’t love be a good thing?
Shouldn’t love bring happiness?
Yet why is sadness following closely?
Can happiness exist without sorrows?
Or can sorrows exist without happiness?
Can it?
Love bring happiness, yet love bring sorrows,
Is this fact? Or is it crap?
Who knows for sure?

Is love simple?
Or is it complicated?
Can it be that simple that it is complicated?
Can it be that complicated that it is simple?
If love is simple then can it lasts?
Can we cherish something so easily obtained?
If love is complicated that can it starts?
Can we possibly endure the problems associates with it?

Is there an expiry date for love?
When will love dies?
Is it the day we die?
But why does divorce happened?
If it is not the day we die, then when is it?
When will love dies?
How can we know love had left?
And how can we handle the day love left?
If being in love makes us alive,
Then what about being out of love?

Question after question after question,
Never ending question with no precise answer,
Each trying to answer the question but failed,
As it is not a question, neither is it an answer.
It is something greater,
It is love.

Hope you enjoy it.. Haha..

100th

Yeah!!! Congratulations to my blog... For having it's 100th post!!
YEAH!! YEAH!!! YEAH!!!
So happy that I can write 100 post in I think around 3 years.. Haha..

I think I want to write another post since I do not want to spoil the Happy Mood of this post... Haha..

Happy 100th post my blog... Hehe...

Sorry

Haha. Hi, I am back, after disappearing for I think near a month.. Haha..
So, I think you might have been able to guess what is the meaning of my post title...
Hehe, hopefully you got it right. I am saying sorry to my blog for ignoring it for so long.. Sorry for letting you wait so long, you must had been so lonely... Sorry.. but I am so busy and had no inspiration on blog materials, you get the idea.. Haha..

So, what should I write now? Well, to relate on recent events, I got my results back already. Although I pass every subject with 2 Pass, 1 Credit and 1 Distinction, however this is not my best attempt. I know I can do better, is just I don't put in as much effort as I used to.. Which is very very long ago... Haha.. So, I decide to introduce a new Me to me.. Hopefully this new Me is a better Me which will help me into getting the best grades that I could possibly get, so that I can take 5subjects next year and apply for student exchange. Hehe.. I was hoping to go to UK for one semester.. Haha..

Keeping my fingers cross and working hard... Hoping that I could cope with the new Me which hopefully could bring me best results. And oh, besides that, hope that the new Me could also work in a more tight schedule since I wanted to find a part time job.. So, Go Me! Haha..

Forgotten

Haha.. Well, there was a time in the near past that I said, "yes! I need to write this in my blog" and so here I am, wanting to write that particular event or feeling into my blog.

Yet, as I have a very very very short term memory, I could not recall what is that great(or bad) thing that deserves its place in my blog. I just could not think of what it is yet felt that I should just write something here to pay tribute to it. Haha. Crazy me.

So, that is settled. Now a bit about my recent life. Well, I am feeling not in the mood to do anything recently. Just going on about my life like a robot. Wake, Eat, Bathe, Play, Sleep. Wanting to find a job but it is so damn hard to find. So, whatever.

Okay, things are getting a bit odd already. That means I should stop writing. Haha.
Okay then, stop writing and going back to Facebook or some boring game again.. Hehe.. Until next time then.

Ooohh.. I forgot to mention. The Forgotten is for my forgotten blog material.. Hoping that by writing this post I might remember what the Forgotten is. But seems like it is truly, FORGOTTEN.

Beginning of The End

Well, firstly I wanted to say that this maybe comes from Samuel or it may just pop out on top of my head... Or maybe I did saw Samuel wrote it on his msn personal message and it register on my head. But still, that is really not the point..

My point of writing this is, what is my point again?? Okay, I seem to lose my initial reason of writing this and now I seems like to just write whatever that comes to my mind right now. Well, maybe I will just touch a bit back to the title.

I think I wanted to say that it is the end of Semester 1 and I still cannot believe that it has been three months that I have been in Sydney. I first arrived here in 20th February and now it is near 16 June. Well, time really flies.

Beginning of the End. I think the end for me means my semester?? Or should I say I am scare of my test the next few days? Haha.. Not sure.. Just thought I should update my blog. It has been neglected by me for quite a period of time and I just think I should come give it some love... Haha... Yes blog dear, I did not forgot you yet... Do not worry, I still love you o, my blog... ( Oh no, I am laughing while typing this...)

Sorry, this might take longer than I expected, as I am msn-ing with my sister and cousins at the same time. Now, where were we? Actually all my inspiration for blogging has disappeared and now I have no idea what I should write next.

Ok, since I have no idea, I think I will just try to fill in the gaps of my life. Well, as some of you all may know, now is my exam period. I had 2 papers already and was quite happy with what I had put up and hoping that the results will be great. But, I don't think I can say the same for the next 2 paper. Management is kind of a nightmare as there are tons to study where I have not even started or even feel like starting. Then Mathematics on the other hand is quite complicated as I did not prepare for the tutorial. I did not do all the question that was given on tutorial and I think I will start on it the moment I finish my Management test. Well, I hope I can pass my Management so I will not need to retake them in future. For Mathematics, I hope that I can get a Distinction, but a Credit is fine with me. Thus, let us all pray for me. Thank you to all who prayed for me. (Haha)

Well, I think I need to end this as I think it is getting seriously boring now.. So, the title again. Beginning of the End. The End is starting to get near already. That is why it is Beginning. Got it? Never mind. I don't really think through what I wrote. So, that is all for now. See you lot in a few days...

P.S: I am currently seeking for a part time job so I can pay for my rent and everyday spending. Besides, I hope that the job can let me have enough money to change my hand phone and then still have some leftovers for me to have fun in the city once in a while. Hehe... All the BEST to me...

Circle

Well, well, well, why did I use "circle" as the title of this post?
Of course, by definition, a circle is a shape where there are no vertex. (this is according to me, I am not sure if it is accurate definition of circle.)

But that is not the reason why I chose it, of course I won't write a blog just because of a shape. My language is not that good until I can do that yet. So, enough with the crap, the reason is because I think it is ironic how things work out. Just like a circle, you will be doing things that happened to you. Or something like that, let me explain.

So, it has been around 3months since I am in Sydney. Before coming here, I got the attitude of "ya, it's okay, I don't worry, so you don't need to worry as well" This is because my aunts and cousins were very worried and always remind me of this and that. I was like "ya ya, I know I know. Okay Okay." I don't know why they are so worried and tell me so many things to be careful of and stuff..

But, as I said, ironically, now the same things had happened to me. I found out that my cousin and sister are going to study in UTAR in Kampar. Since this is the first time that two girls leave home, so I was like remember to bring this, be careful of that, check this and so on to them. I did not know why I said all that to them also but it just seems the right thing to do.

I msn with them when I told them all those stuff. So when I was typing, I was "Oh My! I am doing what my cousin did" and I was laughing while typing. I just can't believe how ironic life is. It really is like a circle, I never thought I will do the worrying and yet I did. Haha.

Okay, I think you might be bored with my writing thus I am ending this.
Well, maybe because I forgotten what else to write. Haha. Well, this post waas schedule on the 19th and I postpone it to today because of my stupid assignment which I really hope is good enough so that I can pass the course. I have no intention of repeating that stupid course any time soon.

So, this is the end of this post as I need to get my rest now. Thanks for reading.

Affected

Well, first thing first, I have a report due tomorrow which I have not finish it yet but because this incident happened so quickly I had to post this to release myself from that feeling so that I can concentrate back on my report.

Two friends of mine who are living together in a foreign country had a fight. I do not know what are they fighting about as both parties did not tell me and I think I am in no position to ask any one of them. Since they are not willing to tell anyone yet, then I think is best to not intervene yet. So, here I am, affected by their temporary ruin friendship.

I do not know why I feel so affected by this. I seen quarrels and fights everywhere, but this time it seems more serious. Maybe my thinking has change and now I feel more? I do not know the reason but it is getting in the way of me and my finished report. So, I need a quick method to throw it out of my mind and focus on the report. Thus, here I am, writing this all out without planning. I thought my next post here would be of something else and I already had an idea written down and I will write it when I finish my report. But, who knows that this incident who arise and gosh I just feel like posting this first.

I think I feel affected by how complex humans are. Humans with the blessing of Gods have the intelligences that no other beings have. But now kind of thinking of it, is it a blessing? I think I am not qualified enough to comment on that and I leave that part to those who are interested and qualified to explore. But, just to think about it, just ask this question to yourself.

"Who make the most damage in this world?"
"Who kill the most being in this world?"
"Who kill just for the sake of killing?"

I am currently short of other questions but I think temporary these will have to do. So, I believe you have the answers and thus I question, "Why?"
This I believe is a stupid question where no one has the correct answer, thus this concluded that I am stupid. Yes, I am. This is why I feel so affected by things that do not even concerned me. Now, I think it is a problem for me, or is it not?

Okay, enough with the stupidity. I need to get back to my report now. Felling slightly better now. Hoping that I can finish my report in time.
All the BEST to me..

我落泪。情绪零碎

地上断了翅的蝶 不像自由地蔓延
爱原来更心碎 都可以更细节
田野风绕过几条街 秋天收获了满地的落叶
于是又一整夜 感情的句子都枯萎 凋谢
我不想再写 随手撕下这一页
原来是跟离别 可以没有结尾
焦 距后悔的跟着写 于是我把诗折叠
有几重感觉 挑一束白玫瑰 你将爱退回
我不落泪 忍住感觉
分手在起风这个季节
哭久 了会累 也只是别人的以为
冷的咖啡 我清醒着 一再续杯
我落泪 情绪零碎
你的世界一幕幕纷飞
门外的蔷薇 带刺伤人的很直接
过去被翻阅 结局满天的风雪
我不想写 随手撕下这一页

This song is from Jay Chou's newest album... I like this song among his new songs... Don't know why I like this song.. I just do.. Hehe..
Okay, I am going for my bath now and I will return to write a post or maybe I won't. This is because I need to rush a report that is due this Friday and that report is 2500 words which I don't even know what to write about.. God BLESS Me..

What is it?

Everyone had the same amount of it...
Most people says it is not enough...
Yet some people says they have too much...

So,
How can the same thing be different?
Why can the same thing be different?
The answer,
Because everyone is different...
Because everyone is unique...

Everyone is racing with it...
Most people try as hard as they can...
Yet no one can catch up with it...
It always stays ahead of everyone...

You want to control it...
I want to control it...
But no one get to be it's master...

It doesn't have legs...
It doesn't have life...
But it moves without slowing down...

It is here...
It is there...
Where is it?
Who can tell?

You can't see it...
You can't touch it...
But you always know...
Oh Yes you do...
That it is there...


So,
How do you use it?
Which is the best?
You and Me can tell...
But who can really do it?

Night + Cold Wind + Ice-Cream

Haha. Yes, I did that. It was night time, or to be more precise is almost midnight, and the wind was blowing and some might even feel cold with the wind and yet I had ice-cream in shorts and T-shirt.

Well, the night started off with a dinner in the city with my housemate, Jonathan and his friends which I know where 2 of them are celebrating their birthday on 1st and 2nd of May, Justin and Xiao Yun. So, they had dinner in a place where it is near the cinema, but I didn't because I had a late lunch. Thus, after the meal we went to the cinema to watch Iron Man 2, and the ticket cost me $20. GOD!! Expensive!!!! I am never going to watch a movie that expensive ever again!! Haha. So, after the movie, they decided to go for ice-cream, and we did.

So, it was around 11.30pm and there we are, eating ice-cream in the night with the cold breeze blowing every second it had the chance. I was basically shivering as it was too cold and I had only a T-shirt and shorts on. So, why didn't I wear a jacket? Well, this is because I want to get use to the weather here to prepare myself for winter. Thus, I was shivering while eating ice-cream. COOL. haha..

The weather here now is quite cold already, and the bad thing is it isn't winter yet. It is just nearing end of autumn and thus this means it will get colder during winter!! Not sure if I am prepared for that kind of weather.. But, I will have to! Haha.

Okay, This is all for now. I need to get back to my Calculus or I might just merely pass my test again. All the BEST for me! and of course to all those reading this. haha..

Someone MOTIVATE me!!!

Oh GOD!! I have a Calculus Test on Monday and an Economics Test on Tuesday, yet I haven;t even started studying yet. SHIT!! What am I doing?? Why haven't I started revising? Well, I just don't have that mood, or more precisely is that I had lost the mood of studying a long time ago and now I am in the process of finding it back. I need IT to COME BACK!! I need it! I need to!!

What can I say? I adopted this kind of lifestyle since I was From3 so it will take some time to search back that kind of feeling. I always wanted good marks but I never work hard for it. Why? I don't know. I always promise myself that I will study but then I will end up doing something else. Why? Why? Why? Maybe it is my newly found (but not so new anymore) attitude of happy-go-lucky. I always thought everything will just turn out fine but I was constantly proven wrong! Yet, little effort had been made to change this not-so-good attitude of mine, at least it is not good in terms of study.

So, what is the point of writing this? I guess is to make a note to myself that I wanted to study and I NEED to study! Or else i might just pack my bags and go back to Malaysia and study which will save a lot of money. So, please remember to STUDY!!!

Okay, I think it is enough. I think I really need to start limit myself on playing and thus transfer my time to STUDY!! And, by the way, I haven't even mention anything that is related to my title. Anyone who read this can feel free to remind me of studying. Besides, if anyone is thinking of coming to University of New South Wales please do and then motivate me to study every single minute. Thanks.

Hoping for the BEST!!

Airport, Me & Rain?

So, I don't really know why I am writing this, or naming the title so, but I just have a sudden urge to visit airports but I don't think I can as it is costly to get to the airport from my place. 

Well, no, the actual reason why I wrote this blog is to kill time so that I can wish Samuel a Happy Birthday but I can't wait till Malaysia time and thus Samuel will just have to do with Sydney time which is 2hours faster than Malaysia. So, Samuel, if you are reading this on 29 April, Happy Birthday! If it is after that date, Happy Belated Birthday! If it is before that date, Happy Birthday in Advance! Okay, I take note of all the possibilities already. (Sorry, did too much Mathematics.)

Okay, that is enough, I need to get back to the main topic of this post. Airports!
Argh! I miss airports! I still remember visiting the small airport in Alor Star when I was very very young with my family. My dad will like say, "Hey, lets go and visit the airport on the way to somewhere which I can't remember." Well, the important thing is that although the airport is small and there are practically no major airplanes flying in that airport, but I still remember the airport. (From the road as I never set foot on the airport, we always drive through the airport and make some stops just to have a better view of the airplane model.)

And here I am now, in Sydney, and I have no idea how the airport looks like. I was so busy finding my cousin from the sea of people when I got out of the arrival and did not even bother to look clearly at the airport. (which is a mistake.) So, now I wonder when can I revisit, or I think visit is the better word, the airport again?  Why? I myself have no answer to that. I just had the sudden feeling like "Oooo! I want to do that" kind of feel. Yaya, I know I am half crazy, thank you for confirming that with me. Maybe I miss home and thus I miss the airport, but the truth is still a mystery and I awaits anyone who can solve it.  (Please, if you are going to suggest answers to my crazy urge, please, please give me some decent guesses. Thank you.)

I think another part that contributes to my urge is that I see planes flying all the time. I can see planes flying when I walk to University, and when I walk back from University. So, that makes me think that, "Hmm, where did they fly from, or where are they flying to?" and then I was like "Oh My! I don't even know what the Sydney International Airport looks like." Haha. So, maybe this is the main reason why I wanted to visit the airport, because I don't have any memories of it! I don't know where it is, I don't know how big it is, I don't know what it looks like. I just know I flown to Sydney through a plane that landed there. That's it. So, I think I better get more memories/pictures/idea of the place and thus, I wanted to visit the airport. TaDa..

Haha. I am glad that you stick through reading all this nonsense of mine to this point. Congratulations, you are well on your way to become as crazy as I am. Haha. But, I got to say, this is nothing compared to my liking for rains. And I do mean RAINS!

What??  You might ask. Yes, the Rain. I like the Rain. especially those that will get you wet from head to toe in seconds type of rain. I just like to walk in the rain, not worrying about getting sick or getting wet, which I found out that I liked. No, not the sick part, I hate getting sick. Haha. But, being in the rain is not as easy as it seems. I can't just run into the rain whenever I see them, it depends on the situation. I can't go into the rain when I know my parents will scream at me and then lecture me for an hour or so. The only time I can be in the rain is when my parents won't find out about it, so it is mostly camping time. Yeah! Oh NO! I just open up a new topic that would cost me days to write it all out. So, I think I better don't start on that. I will just stick to the original topic which is Rain. Well, I just thought I might ask, don't you think it is fun to be caught in the rain and just let it washes you? I like that feeling and thus LOVE the Rain. (Well, you already told me that I am crazy, so I will just take it once more, why not? Haha.)

Okay, it is way past my bedtime as I decided to go to bed early. (7minutes has pass where no entry has been made) And YEAH!! Samuel finally online and thus I switch my focus to wishing him and now I am back, to finish this "I-don't-know-what-to-call-it-post". And now, I am ending this. Yes, I am ending it. Thank you for reading it till this very last few lines. I mean it. Thank you. Okay, okay, I am ending this. Yaya.. It is now, officially 
THE END.

Friends?

First thing first, I wrote this not because I myself is in this dilemma, but one of my friend is. So, this is a written for him.

"What's with you? Always no. What's the point of coming?"  Well, I am not sure if I portrait the quarrel well, but you get the idea. They knew each other for only one year, and find out that they don't really get along. But, its just one year, "you don't like me, I don't like you, fine! Goodbye." They plan to not meet each other ever again, (I think) but fate is a funny thing, the more you don't want it to happen, the more it is bound to happen. So, the "funny" Fate brought the two person to meet again, and the stories began.

They are now basically living under one roof, so they meet each other more often. So, if you still remember your Chemistry, when frequency increases, the number of collision will certainly increases, therefore the numbers of product, which in this case, is disagreements, will increase.  So, I heard quite a number of disagreements between them in just this few months of their "reunion" and you know what the ironic part is? It is that they will be living together or have the chance of bumping into each other for a whole 4years unless someone take some drastic decision and change! Change what? Well, I personally think it is hard to change one's personality, so I think the change will be an environmental change perhaps? I don't know, I'm not a psychologist. (Am I using the correct term? I don't know.) I just know the two are always in disagreement that lead to argument.

Who is right and who is wrong? I don't know. I am not there, and I can't just take sides when I did not hear the whole story, but I don't think I want to know the whole story, because I might take that problem personally and then their problems which is around at least 1000kilometers away will become my problem and I don't want that to happen. So, I will keep their problems as their problems and try to help as much as I can without making it my problem.

So, what is the point of me writing this post where I don't think I mentioned it yet and I don't think anyone can guess the real meaning of me writing this. Actually I also question myself on writing this. It is like two hours in between this line and the first line I wrote, thus the meaning of this post seems a bit blurry to me now. Well, I am making up the meaning as I keep on typing useless lines in here, just to keep my fingers occupied. Okay, I think I came up with something already.

Well, continue on the story, they had been like this and I had no idea how on Earth can they solve their disagreements smoothly. So, I just hope that either one of them but best both of them change for the greater good, become the better man.  One of them must be the one to tolerate the other to solve this problems they are having which is I assume, creating problems for others as well. For example, me, who is now taking in this as my problem now which is a bad thing for me as I don't really have time for this anymore. Besides me, I think their mutual friends who are living or are in close contact with them are also having a problem when the two have a differences in opinion. Well, I can only pray and give a tiny little bit of guidance that my brain can offer which I hope can help them solve their problem.

Okay, this post is getting too long, but I just thought of something that I had not yet mention. Which is the meaning of my post title. Yeah!! Friends? Yes. Why is it that humans are so complicated? Strangers can be Acquaintance and then be Friends and continue on being Best Friends which might degrade and dropped down to Friends again. Add a couple more years of not contacting that person and you guys might just be Acquaintance again. If something goes wrong in the process, then you might end up with an Enemy, which is a bad thing. (According to me of course.) So, why is it that the same human being can be such different? Why is it that life now does not look the same as it used to when we are young? Life back then seems so pure and simple. Well, maybe because we are different every smallest division of time you can think of. How? I quote this from a Dharma Talk which is in Chinese, thus forgive me for my weak translation. "We are constantly changing and thus we are always a different person, how many cells might had changed in 1 second? The person that he/she is scolding is now gone, so why am I still angry with what he had scold the person 1minute ago?" Please tell me if you don't get this phrase, then I might post another version of it which is in Chinese.

Assuming that you get the idea, people change just too damn fast, (Actually this is not the conclusion that the speaker said, but for this context, I had to change it. Sorry.) making it hard for a person to not change their way of thinking things. Thus, we might be friends this instance but something might came up and we might be not talking at all. So, are Friends still worth the trouble when we know that we might not be life-long buddies? What do you think? If the answer is No, then I am sorry, you are not normal and I strongly suggest that  you seek professional help, if you want it that is. But if the answer is Yes, then good, you are an average human being with normal human needs in terms of company. Friends, is a must for most of us, as we have a sense of Belonging. We feel belonged when we can attend class together with someone and eat lunch together. It always feels good to be belonged to something.

So, I need to cut this short as it is way past my bedtime and I really need to get some sleep like now! As a conclusion, Friends are always hard to maintain and thus an amount of effort is required, a slight problem which arise in between might hurt the relationship or even destroy the whole friendship. So, whether someone is worth to be called a Friend or not is all depends on you. Are you my Friend?

P.S: I apologize again if anyone couldn't understand what I wrote, because I really need to sleep now. Sorry. I will post another version with more information on this later when I have the mood in doing so. Thank you for reading this junk for so long, I really appreciate it. Thank you.

Life 2

Well, why is it called "Life 2" ?? This is simply because that I had a previous blog title "Life", therefore this is another version of it so it is called "Life 2". Haha. Simple isn't it?

So, my story starts the day before yesterday, or should I say yesterday in the wee hours. Well, as you might have know, I am a lazy person. I left my tutorial homework till to the last minute. So, it was 1am and I just started doing my tutorial homework which is 3pm that day.  I spend about 3hours doing that thing and end up going to bed at 4am. I slept for like about 6hours and I woke at 10am, because I had a lecture at 11am. So, I woke, I made my sandwiches, which is my lunch and I took a bath.

I was just in time for my lecture and everything turns out quite fine, until I heard someone beside me discussing about results of an earlier calculus test and I thought, "Oh My!, they got such high marks and I just passed my test." That made me quite sad for a while, but then it is still okay, as I did not put much effort in it, so I am suppose to get such marks for my work. The worst thing is, I found out I did the wrong tutorial homework.  I did next week's homework instead of last week's. SHIT!! I waste my sleep for doing the wrong homework!! And then, something worse than that is, my tutor happen to be collecting for both weeks, last week and this week. (Note: Because last week was Easter Holiday, no class was held, but I do not know which GENIUS designed my Management course to have homework assigned to that week.)  GREAT!! Just Great I thought, I lost 0.5marks for failing to pass up my homework for that week.

Well, what can I say? Ces't La Vie

ARGH!!!!

Okay, I got to calm myself down, thus writing a blog is the best way to do so, besides playing DOTA and winning. Haha. So, I met a lot of stupid things which piled up and now I am near to a breakdown. So, let me tell you something about it, or them.

First, I am LAZY! I did not did my tutorials, and now I am quite behind in some subjects and have to put in a lot of work to catch up, and I had decided I will. But, these things has to happen, which ruin my mood of doing any homework. GREAT! So, what happen? This!

I am now the account owner of the telephone and internet service of my house, but I just recently got this title that I think is going to kill me now. Haha. Well, the previous owner has some complications that I am in no state of revealing, thus she has to convert the ownership to me. So, we changed the name on 18 March. And then she moved out after that. A bill issued on 16 March arrive a few days later and it was under her name, so I generally paid the amount as I thought the account will not change. I was WRONG! The company made a new account number for me and also made a new bill for me. So now I had to pay for another bill which has a overlapping period of 2weeks in them. GREAT! So I went online to check on the bill and only notice about this. I straight away called the company and was told after a series of operator operations that asked me to press this number and that number that the line was busy and I was to hold on. ZZZ.. Of all the days to be busy this is the day. Sigh! The bill is due in two days. I will need to call them again tomorrow to straight things out. I hope they will stick to the old billing period or just transfer the payment I made to the old bill to this new bill. If not, I am going to make a hell lot of fuss!!!

Shit! This event has seriously ruin my mood of any study.  I am suppose to be looking into my algebra past year test as I will be having one on Wednesday, or I should be doing my Economics and Accounting tutorial work for tomorrow. Yet I am in no mood for either of that. I just have to much on my mind now. There are still some other problems that I don't think I can reveal it just yet. Haha. Sorry for that. Well, I think that is all for now. I am getting a little better now. Maybe I should just go DOTA a round, have my dinner and a bath. Maybe I will be right on my feet by then to get some work done.

All the BEST for me! YEAH!!

It's been a while

So, it has been a while since I last  posted something here, so I just thought of coming around here after been asked by Samuel.. hehe..

Well, time flies, it has already been 6weeks in Australia. My parents are saying "Wow! Your hair looks long now." Haha. But seriously, I do not think my hair is that long yet, but maybe it is for them who have not seen me in person but through skype only. Well, 6weeks in Sydney, and it only feels like it was yesterday when I first boarded the plane. Why does time need to go so fast? I need some time to cool down, set some things straight, yet time stops for no one. So, here I am, rotting at home during Easter break, although I said that I will use the time I had to catch up on my Mathematics homework, but I have not started and it is already Wednesday, in fact it is Thursday already. Well, I need to get started today! MUST!


Just to remind myself, I went to the zoo with Kah Men and her god uncle and aunt and family. I brought along my two new friends, Soo Siang and Shin Yi. So, we had a great day at the zoo, maybe the main reason is the tickets are FREE!! Thanks to Kah Men's uncle, for having the tickets and for Kah Men to invite me. hehe.. Spend the whole day at the zoo, planning to visit the zoo again as there are a lot of places that we have not covered yet. Just not sure when going as the ticket is not cheap, AUD41 if I am not mistaken, but definitely will be going another time.

Sunday was UniBuds Amazing Race, YEAH!!!! Met a lot of new friends, (Finally) too bad none of them are first year commerce students, or we can discuss homework together, Haha. Although my group did not win, but at least we make new friends and gain experience through the race. So, I had fun, I learn new things, I got experience who cares if I do not win? It is fate that brought me to UniBuds so I think I might as well learn something from it, which is "The Way of Life". hehe.

I thought I can work on my homework on Monday, but my cousin came to Sydney, so I went down to central by bus to meet "him", or that was what I thought. It turns out to be "them". Haha. So, he told me to go to Market City, which I had no idea where it is, but I got on a bus and went to Central Station. This is where I found a map of the city, but it is stuck to the wall, so I look through it and kind of memorize the map. I walk to the wrong side of the road and finally realize I was wrong in time, I went the other way straight away and just go by my instinct, and guess what? I found it. Haha. Never told anyone there I do not know my way, even if I am going to go there again now I do not think I can find it straight away, as I was reading a useless map on the way there. Haha.

So, Tuesday is just a normal day, Wednesday is more interesting.
I got up early as I had registered myself to a paid research at 10am. I got there are found out I had only to sit in front of the computer and make easy decisions for two hours. I end up earning $20 for the 2hours. Yet I know I can earn more if I am the "Seller" instead of the "Buyer".  The experiment is about how the "Buyer" and "Seller" make different decisions when negotiating the price of a product. We earn a $5 for showing up and every $60 profit we earn in the experiment is converted to $1 in real life. I just earn up to $12.70 but the guy is good enough to say that the minimum we can earn is $15. So, I got $20. Hoping that another session will be soon as I wan to earn more money! YEAH!! haha.

I want to earn more money so I can save enough to buy a MayDay concert ticket which cost $68. Well, hoping that I can find a job soon as I really need the money, yet not sure what I should do, maybe I might consider working in the supermarket nearby. Money, Money, Money, I need money. Who want to hire me?? I need a part time job as I need the money! Seriously, there are so many things that I wanted to buy. I need a JOB!!!

So, I think that is for now. I might be updating soon, but that is no guarantee. I might found a job and be too busy to even do my own cooking so do not count on me so much. Haha. I want to go to bed already as it is getting late. Good Night to everyone who is reading this at night. Until we meet again then.

I need PRIVACY!!!!

So, I guess you might be guess what I am talking about yet I am sure that most of you will get it wrong.. Haha.. Actually I am not so sure of what I am talking about, but that is not the point.  The point is, I think I cannot write anything anywhere anymore. You know what I mean? I need privacy. Haha..

Let me tell you better, I think that I do not have a space that I can just write out what I feeling anymore. Facebook or MSN has been penetrated by family members and thus I have to be careful with what I am writing. I might even have to restrict to the fact that I do not write anything. Haiz.. Yet, luckily I still have this unknown blog with only a number of friends knew of and even few friends who check it. Haha. So, this place is practically the safest place that I can just shout out loud what is on my mind.

How I miss the old days where I can just put a personal message on MSN that I like or just post a status of me on facebook. Yet, those days are long gone.. I need to be extra careful now. Everything is under the microscope now. One wrong move and I might be packing my stuffs.. Haha.. Maybe I am exaggerating, maybe not. Who knows for sure? I am not going to take my chance and find out. So, I will just have to stick with this option that I have left.

Thus, I think I will visit here more often. But for now, I have to run as I got a 1000words essay to get back to and do not forget about the around 3000words articles that I need to read through. Haiz.. I HATE Management!!! So waste of my time!!

Just Great!!!

Well, the title speaks for itself...
Just great, I was fine when something came up and now I have no mood for study.
Good, whatever then, I think I will just go to bed early.
I don't think I want to post what had change my mood as I don't want to remember them.

So, goodnight to all.

What kind of person is this?

So, here is it, my landlord.. I can't put up his name here in case he found out about this and sue me about his reputation. But I don't think he could, as he has not report his collection of rent from us to ATO.. Haha.. So, here goes the story.

He came the day before and told me that : "hey Den Neil, I will be collecting my rent tomorrow, do you know when Eunice them (my housemates) class normally till what time?"I told him around 8pm and he said he will come at 9pm to collect the rent the next day and asked me to tell the others about his arrival.

So, the next day, Eunice told me that HE called her and told her that HE will be coming at 9pm to collect the rent. And so here we were, preparing for him since 8.30pm.. and yet you know what? He never show! We waited for him until it was 11.30pm and we decided we were too sleepy and all went to bed. Haha.. What kind of person is that? and you know what? He didn't even call to tell that he can't make it. Well, what can I say?  He is this kind of person and is already in his seventies.. So be it.

Ok, besides that, I got another interesting story. My Tim Tam is missing!! haha... I bought a packet of Tim Tam and open it and ate one and left it in the fridge. Next day, I found 1 missing. So, I thought it was the maid who ate it as the maid was doing here to do the cleanings. I don't mind so much and ate another one. Yet at night when I checked again, ARGH!!! Another one missing!!! WHO ATE MY TIM TAM??? I don't know.. Haiz... Poor Tim Tam.. you were so young... Haha.. Well, this is another kind of people who I don't understand. Are they kleptomania? I heard of some stories but I do not know the truth of it thus I am not posting it.. I will just take the 'death' of my 2 Tim Tam s and as it is. They are gone now.. So, now, I learn to be more careful with my sweet foods and thus carefully hide them in the fridge. Haha. But, I really wanted to know who ate my Tim Tam, and twice in a day! I don't really mind they are eaten but at least you should let me know either before or after you ate them.. Not just leaving me to guess who ate them.

Well, I think this is enough for now. I had to get back to my Management Tutorial homework that is due tomorrow. Sigh! I hate Management class.. What a waste of my time. Haha..

Alice in the Wonderland

So, I watch the movie yesterday as a treat from my housemates for my birthday. (Thanks a lot.. I appreciate it a lot..) After the movie, my housemates were like "What was that?" Haha.. The are trying to link the whole movie together and thought the movie was very random. They can't get the movie and thought " I don't remember the old movie and I seriously don't get the new one." Haha.. Yet, I thought differently.

I thought that the movie has a deeper meaning in it.. Alice in the old movie is just a small girl and thought all of this wonderland are just a dream, her imagination. She live through her life thinking so and never treat it more than just a dream. So, when she grew up, the dreams are still bothering her, and she make up her mind to pursue it. And thus the journey begins.

She at first still have the rational thinking that all of it are just imaginary and is part of her dream, yet the truth is it is real. Everything she dream about is true. Make sense? Well, I think that she finally realize that her dreams are not just dreams when she step up to it, making it real. She decided to follow her dreams, thus making victory. She found out her way of life and not just follow the path that was made for her. She step up to everyone and open a different path that no one had ever tried before.

So, I think the moral of the movie is that to live our lives our way. Don't be bounded by anyone or anything and do whatever that we feel ought to. Yet, please take note here I don't mean doing anything against the law, or making some things that are just plain wrong no matter how you view it.. Haha..

Thus, the conclusion is, you are the one controlling your life. Live it at your will, and you may just find happiness.

OMG!!!

Oh My God!! What did I did throughout my at least two month holiday? Oh ya, I was hanging around in front of the laptop whole day playing and facebook-ing.. Oh God, this caused me a lot..

I had seriously return all my knowledge on Year 12 Maths to my lecturer, Mr Leong. (Sorry, I did not know I can forget that fast.. Maybe I should pay more attention in class.. Haha..) Well, what can I say? I really regret not doing any revision throughout my holiday.. Now my brain is slightly rotten and it will need sometime to be sharpen up to shape again.. Haha.. So, I will need to be studying starting now.. Well, who ask me to enrolled for such a demanding subject?

And, to my deepest regrets, I forgotten to bring my HSC Mathematics notes over to Australia.. They are now sitting patiently under my desk in my Alor Star home.. Haha.. Probably grew some dust over them by now as I had never touch them since like last October. Haha.. So, hoping that my parents will send them to me, and hopefully they will send the correct notes to me, or else I will need to read through those hard to understand textbooks and notes here that I would probably never get as fast as I could with my old notes of my dear Mr Leong. (Oh My!! I really miss his class.. Although he is very strict, yet his class is very detailed and easier to understand then the lecturer I am having. Maybe this is because of the time limit they had. Oh well, I got to use whatever resource I have now. The SHOW must go on.. haha.. So, fingers cross that I can remember all those tough Mathematics that Mr Leong had taught.

So, I think I need to go back to my Mathematics already. Or else there is no way I am going to pass my Mathematics exam. The subject I am enrolled in is classified as the hardest subject a Year One student could choose. Haha.. So, yeah me for making my life this hard. Haha. Who ask me for wanting a job that most people fail in the process of getting the degree? Well, All the BEST to me then.
This is all for now, until next time then.

Time

So here I am, just after my first lecture and lunch and oh my!

My lecture is on Management which is a core subject or no way I am taking it. So, just on my first lecture I had been told that I got a lot of things ahead.

Assignments due on week4 and week11, Tutorial works due next week, notes, chapters to read.. This is not what I had in mind of..

I was told that I will be spending a minimum 10hours on each subject per week, for classes and all other works. So, I took 4subjects and this adds up to 40hours per week. 1 week consists of 168hours. Deduct 40hours from this sum then I had like 128hours left.

Okay, I'll put it like this so it will be easier to read.

7 x 24hours = 168 hours ( In a Week )
4 x 10hours =   40 hours ( Study )
7 x   3hours =   21 hours ( Eating + Bathing )
7 x   3hours =   21 hours ( Volunteer Work and Part time Job )
7 x   8hours =   56 hours ( Sleep )

So, after this I will be left with 32hours left per week for online+ Socializing. Oh My!! This is bad.. Haha..

Sorry, I decided that I am too lazy to continue on with this topic, so I will just post it as it is. Haha. Lazy me.

I Love You Always Forever

Haha.. Please don't get the wrong idea, I just love the song.. Haha.. So I am recommending this song to everyone.. I personally like the chorus as I like the tune and the lyrics.. I think it is perfect. haha.. Go find out and listen to the song.. Here are the lyrics..

The starting might be a little dull, but give the song a chance.. You might actually LIKE it.. Just as I was.. Haha.. 

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS FOREVER
by Donna Lewis

Feels like
I'm standing in a timeless dream
Of light mists
Of pale amber rose
Feels like
I'm lost in a deep cloud of heavenly scent
Touching discovering you

Those days of warm rains
Come rushing back to me
Miles of windless
Summer night air
Secret moments
Shared in the heat of the afternoon
Out of the stillness
Soft spoken words

Say say it again
I love you always forever
Near and far
Closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you
I love you always forever
Near and far
Closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you

You've got the most unbelievable
Blue eyes I've ever seen
You've got me almost melting away
As we lay there under blue sky
With pure white stars
Exotic sweetness a magical time

Say say it again
I love you always forever
Near and far
Closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you
I love you always forever
Near and far
Closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you

Say you'll love love me forever
Never stop never whatever
Near and far and always and everywhere and everything
(Repeat 3 times)

I love you always forever
Near and far
Closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you
I love you always forever
Near and far
Closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you


I am lazy to find a link for you guys, so please be kind enough to go find the song yourself.. well, the song is quite old... so be prepared for oldies.. haha..

Life

Well, so here I am, getting an hour or two with my housemates in the dinning room.. Well, at first the topic was like oh this oh that, a lot of nonsense, but then the topic get a little serious, did I say little? I mean a lot.. Haha.. So, here is my conclusion of the discussion which I took the passive part..

The rich people will always continue to dominate over the poor as my Economics lecturer in IICP, Miss Sara Seah always says, "The rich become richer and the poor become poorer." Well, this is a fact! The cruel reality of this very world we live in. Everything is about money and this is now affecting our lives greatly. The young people are not going to have babies as babies are not economically good for them. Yes! Babies cost a fortune! That is why the growth rate for most developed or developing countries are dropping. So, maybe in a decade or so, you might not even can spot a youngster riding their cute little four-wheel bicycle on the playground. Imagine that!

What can I say? This is reality! And movies are almost always a lie! The world is not always as beautiful as it seems, it always has a darker side with it. But, I think this is life. You give, you give, you give and maybe take some, then you are returned to the earth in how many decades? 8 can be consider quite good and those living till they are 90 are amazing. So, what to do with the remaining time you have left is in your hands. You are the one managing your future. Although this may seem optimistic, yet sometimes reality does not work this way. You need extra help, you need LUCK! Yes! Luck! You need it because sometimes, no matter how hard you try to improve your life, it may still be the same. Only those blessed can really change their life around, from the poor to the rich, and how do they do that? If this question is in the 70s or 80s and even the 90s I can confidently tell you, it was their effort. But now, effort does not equal success and fortunes anymore. The equation has now become more complicated. Now, we need luck on our side to help us, to make our path to fortune available. So, how can we change our poor life? Without the correct amount of effort and luck, I don't think that is possible now.

Yes, cruelty of the modern life. It is shocking yet true. Think about it. The future is in your hands, yet you can't deny it will help a lot to have Lady Luck on your side. But still, I am not encouraging to depend all on luck, we must have the correct equation. So, have you found it yet? Please share it with me if you have found it, but I doubt you will. Why? Well, this is LIFE !!

P.S: Sorry, I have to cut it short, I have a lot of nonsense left in my head, waiting for me to pull it out, yet I am quite sleepy now and my stomach is getting hungry and I need to wake up early for tomorrow. So, that is all for now. Please wait for another day when I will be inspired by some topic so I can pour everything out. Till then, bye.

Blank

Well, I can't really remember when I wrote this, but I was looking for HSC assignments for a friend and found out about this article that mostly is written by me but I forgot when and why I wrote it. Haha.. (Short term memory)

So, here goes:

Everyone has a book, which wrote down and record every second of their lives.

Many may not realize the existence of this special book, yet it is there, no matter you notice it or not, it is, and will always be, there.

It is a special book, you don’t need ink to write in it, in fact there is no need for writing at all. The book will magically fill itself with all the details that it needs, or a better word will be desire.

The good things that happen in our lives, all the happy moments, the laughter, the joyful time, the unforgettable time we had with our love ones, the book will record. Yet, there are also the bad times, times when darkness fall, the sad moments, the things that make us cry, feeling down, the book will record. There is nothing the book won’t record. It is both a strength and weakness of the book. It just continues filling itself, never stopping even for a second, constantly refilling its pages with new things that happen in our lives.

Yet, this proves to be bad. The pages kept renewing as the book kept refilling. The pages are limited yet the story is never ending. Therefore, if you ask me “So, what is your book about?”. I will just have to say “Honestly, I also don’t know. They are blank.” Yes! They are blank. The book is refilling itself, yet without the use of ink, the book is still blank, no matter how much it wrote, the next day, it is blurred. In a few weeks time, it is blank. Only something that is strong, so strong that it can withstand the corrosive power that took over the book, eating away all the words that the book wrote. So what on earth is that powerful? Well, I don’t know, that is why, my book is still,

blank.

COLD..

Well, the temperature drops all of a sudden and now it was like COLD...
Haha.. so, it is cold right now and hoping this will improve my sleeping as I don't have any air blowing into my room thus making me feel quite odd where I feel hot but the weather is cold.. Haha.. So, the sun I think has fallen asleep earlier today making everything cold..

So, a bit more about my day. I woke up, shut my alarm, reset the time a couples of times today.. starting from 8am to 8.30am to 8.45am to 8.54am where I snooze my alarm.. So, i don't know why I don't just set it at 9am. Haha..

Well, I got to the Uni and had a Australian School of Business(ABS) welcome and after that is a free lunch followed by a tour. Met a bunch of first year commerce students, but don't know if we will be in the same class.. Hoping to be in the same class with at least one of them so I won't feel alienated. (ESL: Belonging, Haha.. I miss Miss Kam ESL D class) So, we play around and had a tour so we know at least each others faces.. haha.. I'm quite lazy to type right now as I am having my yesterday's breakfast + today's breakfast which I didn't finish as my pre-dinner, it is a huge muffin.. haha..

So, tomorrow I will be asking more about my course and hopefully I had made the right choice.. Besides I will be applying for the study aboard program where I get to have a semester or two outside of Sydney or even Australia.. Hoping for UK, as I can meet some friends there. Haha.. So, quite busy day tomorrow. Plus, I will be meeting JJ ( Jinq Jhao ) for the first time. I met him through Stanley through Facebook knowing that he is studying at UNSW as well, so hopefully we can be best friends.. Haha..

That is all for now, and please wait patiently at Facebook for the group photo. This is because we have to wait for the person to upload the photo and then we had to add them as friends before they can tag us up and by then will it only show on my profile.. So keep waiting!!!
Haha..

What do you call this?

Hmm, as the title suggest,
what do you call a breakfast, lunch and dinner all in one??

Haha.. that is what I had today.. I had my breakfast, lunch and dinner at once..
Kakaz.. this is because I woke up late.. Very late.. then I played with the computer as there are peoples outside my room and I don't fell like walking out to take a bath.. Haha.. So, I waited till they are back, and that makes 4pm. Took a bath and preparing myself, facebooking for another hour or two, and that makes 6+. Haha..

First experiences, I don't know why I didn't feel hungry.. Haha.. Kakaz...

Hoping that I can make new friends FAST !! so that I can have someone to eat together.. Haha...

SYDNEY !

So, here I am, arriving at Sydney, Australia for the first time and alone.
Haha, well, I want to thank my cousin for wasting her time finding 18 place till she found this nice room for me with nice housemates.. Without her help, I don't know what will I do. Thanks!

So, hoping for the best in this new place and hope that I can make new friends FAST !!
Haha.. the weather here is fine for now but don't know what will Autumn and Winter be like.. hoping they will not be too cold as I am not a fan for coldness.

Everything is quite well here.. and I am waiting for Monday to come as nothing much could be done during the weekends.. Hoping to upload photos soon on facebook, but I doubt that as I don't think I want to ask others to help me take it just yet.. Maybe when I got new friends then photos will start to show.

Ooops! I almost forgot about the flight, well, the 1hour flight to Singapore was nothing. Yet, the transit and getting from Terminal 2 to Terminal 3 was quite far and a sky train is needed.. For the flight to Australia, well, the food was good, yet I could not say so to the cheese and I think I ate raw/half cooked salmon. I'm not sure, couldn't tell. Haha. Yet I can't sleep on the flight as the place is quite small and I have been encountering similar situations a few nights already. So, not sure what was wrong, but I slept for 2hours after the flight and woke up at 3pm for lunch. So, don't know what will happen for tomorrow.

Why?

Well, all I can say is my luck had never been good since I was young, so I do not complain about that, just hoping that my bad luck would end when I step into the working society so that I can have a good career ahead of me. Haha.
What can I say? Being optimistic is just about all I had.. So I will stick with with no matter what. Although I might be caught of guarded by my emotions now and then, but most of the time I am easy going and happy.
Haha.
So, I decided to write this here so that I can forget about the bad experience I had yesterday and hoped that I would never ever be in it again.
And, Chinese New year is nearing.. And after that I will be flying to Australia soon enough. So, preparing myself although I had not even started packing yet. Haha.
All the best for me!

UNSW

Well, I will be going to UNSW on the 19th of February and yet I still don't have a place to stay and haven't pack my things. Haha.
Not many people I know are going so hope that I can get along quick with the students there. Besides, I hope to have a place in the on campus hostel soon as I don't think I would want to stay at an non-school hostel place for my first semester as I personally think of it as dangerous. Haha. Yet UNSW village has not replied me and now I am getting desperate. Hoping that miracles will happen. Haha.

It has been a while since I last update my blog and I blame it on my internet. My internet has been malfunctioning all this while until recently where I can sometimes have an hour or two uninterrupted internet. Yet I fear the worst has yet to come, so now I am using all the time I can when the line is stable. Hope that Australia will have better connection.

I think this is all for now as I forgot about what I was going to write.
Until next time then.

P.S: I miss my high school relaxing life and my short 10month college life.
I so want to go back to those days. Anyone who had found a way to turn back time, please tell me, I can be the one to experiment it. Haha.

Two faces?

Okay, so what do I mean? Well, I kind of thinking that I am living two or even more lives in one body. I am very sad and frustrated right now, yet I just did a celebration with my friends and looked happy and all cheerful. Am I getting crazy? I feel kind of tired, maybe I really should just let everything go and don't care about things that did not matters me anymore, then maybe I can feel happy again, yet I doubt it will be anytime soon as I kind of taking these things seriously and it will be bothering me for quite some time and even will feel it when I am during or thinking similar things. I just don't forget things like this.
Well, I think I am really getting crazy for writing this much post in a day. Haha. Whatever, if I did not pour it all out here I don't know what will happen to me, so be it.

Was I too much?

Well, once again I won't tell you straight about what I am writing about, you have to guess it by yourself as I don't think I can write it out clearly.

You could say I have a strong passion nearing to obsession to two things. Yet I was hurt once last year during my interfering which cause them to feel offended. This force me to be emotionally affected as I feel responsible for making them angry. This cause me to make space between myself and my obsession to the first thing. Now, just a few days back, I decided to intervene on the second and the same thing happen again. Now I really felt distance from the two things I once felt deeply connected with and held it with pride. Now, I just feel like it does not belong to me anymore as it is so much different from the way I remember them. They don't do things the same way anymore, they don't show the kind of passion anymore, they don't even speak like they used to, maybe they had grown, maybe I had aged, things will never be the same anymore as times wait for no one.

So, I was thinking, was I too much but saying out what I thought? I feel depressed as I never expect such a respond from someone who I thought will be the few who would understand, maybe I am getting old in this, maybe it is really time to let go, to move on. Well, frankly speaking, this might even be the last event that I will go back to as there aren't many more opportunities left for me. They grew, I grew, the first and second thing also grew. It grew to something different, I don't even know what it look like during my time, maybe I really am too old for this.
So here I am, saying Goodbye, to the two things that I once feel strongly about, that fill up most of my high school life,
Goodbye and I wish you well.

Let Go?

Should I really let go now? I don't think I can bare the feeling and I only felt it less than half an hour ago.

Of course I know the hatred feeling of the one who criticize, yet they don't seem to get the feelings of anxious we had. The thought everything is going to be find and it is us, the "old" ones that are anxious and afraid that they can't make it and end up doing it ourselves. Should I let go? Or a better phrase is should we let go? I know I should as I can, but they can't, they still hold the responsibility and can't just decided that they don't want to care anymore. As they might take the blame of not caring and I don't want that to happen for my friend, after all, we had our times together and I thought they deserve better. But, they just do not have the heart to scold and this worry me worst. I am afraid that the place I once called home will be lost, or not what it used to be. I am afraid, I really am, that is why I made the decision to bring the truth, and this hurts them and eventually me. As I blame myself for affecting them and now I am affected, quite badly.

Maybe it is really time for me to let go. Leave all the memories where they belong, in the mind and let things be as it is, without me interfering it. But can I do it? Can I watch my "home" risk the chance of destruction and not care? Maybe I should, as it is not the same "home" I look up to anymore, I just hope it will continue being a "home" for others like me, and find the initiative to give in all to it like I once did, like WE once did, and save it, and make it, HOME again.